EPISODE THREE

[tangela]

I know I'm way behind on episodes, but HAAAAAY MUTHAFUCKA I'M HOH!

I knew once the goddamn HoHs stopped being luck/popularity I'd start my reign of terror. I'm a gigantic challenge threat, and I didn't want it to be known early, but I'm literally so conceited and cocky, I just need to win every challenge humanly possible. It's in my blood. I simply cannot throw a competition, even if it's in my best interest (I probably shouldn't have won this HoH -- now I have to pick sides and shit, but whuteva -- I'M HOH MUTHAFUCKA!). 

Usually my HoH's will be big moves and letting bitches know who the fuck runs this goddamn house, but this time will be different. It's apparent that my alliance wants Celebi/Lopunny nominated. WELL BITCH, I'M HOH NOT YO JANK ASS. Celebi's basic bitch #3 (Hitmonlee basic bitch #2, and Sableye basic bitch #1) - ass will probably be nominated, but I doubt I'll be putting up Lopunny. Instead, I'll just put up one of her lil minions, Sableye (Basic Bitch #1). 

Right now, I think I have a pretty good relationship with Lopunny, and I could definitely use that. I'm nominating people for social reasons, not for "who's against my alliance?" reasons, because at the end of the day, this is a solo game, and while I DO CARE about my alliance, Tangela always comes first. So I will be eliminating people based off "will they keep me safe?" rather than "will they keep my alliance safe?" and I think Lopunny would keep me safe if she won HoH. That being said, I still am looking out for my alliance by putting up Sableye/Celebi by eliminating people who are outside of our alliance and were sided with Lopunny & Leafeon. It probably won't be an exciting week, but it'll be one step closer to my velvet F2 seat at the finale.  #Tangela4Prez

[tangela]

Ugh, what a struggle it was for coming up with bullshit reasons for nominating Sableye & Celebi. Such work. I eventually just gave the excuse that they're floaters (which is true for Sableye) because I couldn't outright say "NIGGAS, YOU AIN'T IN MY ALLIANCE" so I just pull something out of my ass real quick. If I was really going to put up floaters, basic bitch Roserade (Who I ALWAYS forget is in the game) and Hitmonlee. But Celebi is more prevalent than anyone outside the alliance, and I know Sableye is a weak bitch who, even if he tried his 100%, wouldn't be able to successfully boot me or be competition for an HoH/Veto win, so I'm not stressing him coming after me if he survives the block.

I'm currently getting a lot of pressure to put Lopunny up, but it simply isn't happening. Anyone who won't nominate me when they're HoH is a friend to me, and will not me nominated under my reign, even if my alliance doesn't like it -- tough tittyyyyy. Long hurr, dun curr. Tangela does what he wants.